No need for an apology!

It was 6 minutes 35 seconds left in the game he drives down the court ready to pass the ball, they scramble to get open, they couldn't get open so what's he left to do? He shoots, he scores!! Rahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Go Hornets! Go Jerry!! I sit there calm with my hands on my face in awe, take a deep breath as the adrenaline rushes through my body! My baby boy! (ok he is 11 not a baby but always my baby).  A mom sits next to me and asks "how long has your son been playing ball?" I say "he has been playing with his club since he was 4" and turn around.  She continues to say "well my son loves to play but I didn't allow him to because we chose to focus on his education".  Errrrk, stop the press....I look over to CJ and he just looks at me, shakes his head and then gives me that look like "oh crap she is about to go IN on her".  I surprise myself and my hubby, I say nothing! I am stunned and in shock, did she just say that?  I could have 'went in' on her and say "As if I have not focused on my son's education?".  I was a STUDENT ATHLETE in junior high and high school so trust I understand what it means to be just that. My son loves to play ball and I won't deny him that.   Education is the key, the foundation in our household as in many others so the audacity for her to imply that it wasn't a priority for us was out of line!  But I won't apologize.

Being actively involved in youth sports since my son was four I have seen so many things and I have learned that their are so many opinions.  No one persons opinions are more true than the next.

 I won't apologize for being that Mom; that runs the clock during games, brings snack on my assigned day, participates in a carpool system, buys swag for my boys, cooks pre-dinner meals, brings sandwiches for all the kids to eat.  Oh and definitely won't apologize for yelling too loud, for participating in the team chant "where my dawgs at?????", for waking early up anxious for the days games.  Praying for the safety of kids, no injuries.  I won't apologize for demanding my son to BE THE BEST and put forth his best effort during practice and game day!

I won't apologize for emailing my sons teachers day in and day out, for participating on the PTO, for carpooling kids from school to practice, for expecting a response from teachers, for volunteering my time, staying up until 11pm helping with homework, for expecting my son to work hard and ask questions.   I won't apologize for demanding my son to BE THE BEST and put forth his best effort during homework time and test day!

I won't apologize for requesting that my son hang up this quote in his school locker, above his homework desk and on his sports wall:

"It's not about perfect. Its about effort.  And when you implement that effort into your life...every single day, that's where transformation happens.  That's how change occurs.  Keep going. Remember why you started." author unknown.

I don't apologize because when the teacher emails me and says "I’m just so excited and wanted to email you right away to tell you that he got a 94 on his big test today!! I am so proud of him and I know he totally deserves it!"

And when the teacher emails me and says "Your son won student of the week for his hard work and growth".

Or when his Coaches say "We need your son, he is an asset to the team"

I don't need to apologize for being a good Parent to MY children!

Traveling for the Holidays!!

So I believe after 9 years of traveling I should become the expert on traveling for the holidays with children!  After many failed attempts it is safe to say I got it! Well with much more learning and developing to go!!

Here are the Johnson Family travel tips;

1.  Decorate your own home- Although Christmas may be celebrated in another state, never forget HOME.  I always make it a family tradition to decorate my home.  Involving the kids in each aspect so they can feel the cheer.   Here are some easy spice up your home tips:

• candles, seasoned wall air fresheners
  
  
  
• Create your children their own mini-tree in addition to the family tree- I usually decorate this in their Team colors! Red and Blue of course!   I also leave presents under the tree for them at home! 
  

2. Shop tickets prices early but not too early! We found that the Black Friday prices are not necessarily cheaper buying within the recommend 45-57 days is usually the best time! When budgeting we tell are children a part of their Christmas present is traveling!  We love Southwest because we rack up points!!!

3.  Pack early!!! I know it sounds crazy...but I pull out the suitcases around December 1.  It helps me gage what we really need! I have been guilty of packing too much stuff and the kids usually only wear about half of the stuff that I packed.  Packing for 5 people is really a lot of work.  Okay so I don't pack for Dad because he packs literally the night before and stays up until after midnight!! (sorry CJ).  Last Christmas we left CO with 8 bags- 1 carry on item per person and 3 suitcases (1 was empty to bring back stuff)  we left STL to come home with 12 bags- you don't believe me ask Brotha Josh  who had to pick us up from the airport!   I count my blessings first that my children are loved :)
Our luggage looks something like this:

No we don't care about matchy matchy stuff...what can fit really matters! 

Most important: DO NOT PACK MAJOR COSMETICS!!! Most of what you need will be where your staying, well unless you have special facial products or lotions, but with 3 boys trust me anything will work!.  We buy diapers and wipes wherever we travel! 

4.  Preparing the House- Most important step here-  You must have a good home networking system.  Be nice to people because you never know when you will need them to watch your dogs and check on your house while you are gone.  We have a great support system!

• We will admit our dogs can get outta hand sometimes.  They are dogs and DO experience separation anxiety No matter how old they are.  Our dogs have very powerful names, Dutch and Titus and if you have ever met them you would understand! They require special attention and a strong love for dogs.  

                                   Dogs require preparation as they are a part of the family!! 

• Clean your house and I am no longer going to be prideful of hiring a cleaning service (that will come in a future blog).  There is nothing worse than coming back from travel to having to clean up! I even wash all dirty clothes while we are out of town!

5.  Comfy Dress.   Sweatsuits and sandals (well unless it's snowing duh!)

Now don't just put together anything, geez you will be around a lot of people! Try to match a little :)

Now Mommy on the other hand...has to be fly I mean I am the Queen!! 
I love all of these: 

Mommy wears her comfy Uggs :) and a cute sweat comfy suit or a nice sweater and leggins (yes i wear them when traveling).  

6.  Have fun! Don't stress (even with weather delays).  Pray often.  Relax! Eat and Shop! But don't forget you still have to come home! Don't shop until your broke because a lot of things go on sale AFTER the holidays! 

CALL Your family and friends back home! Don't forget they miss you and nothing is better than receiving a phone call rather than a text! (Relationships and Communication coming soon in a future blog)

Thankful for Perfect Imperfections

As we wake this morning we send texts and Facebook posts telling the world how Thankful and blessed we are.  We are thankful for all the things we have, for our family and friends and jobs.  Do we give thanks to all of the struggles we face?  For the bad times? For our imperfections? This is a day of thanks and for some reason my heart has put my fingers to work.  Someone out there can't see through the storm and can't see the beauty of their imperfections. I now know that my life imperfections are perfect.  For all of the times I tried and I failed, for all of the times I thought I couldn't move forward what I  didn't know was that I was working towards perfecting the imperfections.  In those moments I couldn't seem to find an ounce of thankfulness, yet everytime I overcame whatever the obstacle.  At the end of the storm I then became thankful.  I began to think geez what if I was thankful through it all no matter the challenge?  It took time and many experiences to learn to be thankful in every circumstance.  I am not naive to the fact that I will experience other challenges  where it will be difficult to be thankful.  There will be times when its so cloudy I can't seem to muster up an ounce of gratitude but I know that the beauty of life is when things are not perfect they are exactly that.   God is our perfect peace and in Him resides our perfect place so therefore our imperfections are perfectly perfect!!

Not in my house!

I have to share another conversation I had with my kiddos and their friends...The use ofthe word Nigga, NOPE not in my house! Until our black youth or all youth for that matter can tell me other notable African Americans in history OTHER than MLK, Rosa Parks, Malcom X and the history of the word, the answer will always be NO.  I may engage the idea of a debate (they usually loose at that game).  I could just simple say "You can't say it because I said so" but what would that teach? Nothing.

Not that me certificate in African American History makes me an expert but it shows my kids and their friends that I made a choice to learn about me, about them, about us.  

Who is Booker T. Washington? And what did he contribute? 

Who is Ida B. Wells? And what did she contribute? 

What do their words mean? How have they helped us?

Where does the word Nigga belong?

Not in my house!  period.com

Hoodies...not hoodlums.

My best friend has always suggested that I blog about my family and all of the crazy events...I have tried before and I have failed.  But after a conversation I had with my sons last night (all of them including the weekenders) was very enlightening and difficult for me!   I teach my boys to be a LEADER 1- Do not lie, 2- Do the right thing all the time, 3- Do not follow others with a new one being added 4- be the best You you can be.   I can teach them all of these things but reality is not everyone will see them in that same fashion! It's reality...our reality, their reality.  They can be the best they can be but just because they love to wear "hoodies" may cause them to experience....um...well let me just say it (hell it's my blog) Racial Profiling! My oldest Jerry LOVES things with pockets and has been faithfully wearing my old hoodie from 15 years ago.  He walks around the house with it on because he is always cold...okay fine, but PLEASE don't wear it outside...PLEASE! I had to explain to them what they do in here (our home) is not what they should do out there.  They are not thugs because they listen to rap, or because they wear hoodies.  They are athletes...student athletes.   Even though we all live within a mile radius of one another they still can't walk to each others house after sundown.  Not because we don't trust them but we don't trust other people.  We don't trust others that may want to steal from them or the police that may assume they are causing trouble because of the hoodie.  Yes this post goes back to Trayvon Martin, but what sparked the conversation was Michael Brown.   One of my sons says "they both were unarmed".  Yes they were but in society sometimes that does not matter.  I say "we do not know the details of either event so we can not make assumptions, but yes it is wrong to shoot an unarmed man".  As my father raised my brothers- Real Man Fight with their fists and their brains and we should fear no man.  Yes there it is Fear NO man even if he is wearing a hoodie! Hoodies do not equal Hoodlums- a person who engages in crime and violence; a hooligan or gangster.