I am watching this YouTube video in responds to Ice T's Manhood Is Dying article, and the first thing that comes to mind are my 3 boys. Now while I agree, I don't totally agree. Yes Men need to be Men and that starts in childhood. I had a moment a few weeks ago where I had to teach my son how to deal with emotions he didn't understand how to deal with. We were at a family graduation giving our congrats to my nephew and cousin stating how we are proud of them. The common theme throughout the praises was how we are proud of the young Black Men they have become and will become. It was a pretty emotional family moment and some us cried tears of joy. My brother was very emotional because he had his son at 17 and to see his son graduate was an accomplishment!
My 8 year old came up to me and asked 'Mommy I'm sad because people are crying'. Immediately, a teaching moment for my son to understand how to deal with emotions. I had to be very careful with how I responded because I am not a man and don't know how to deal with emotions as a man. I told him they are tears of joy and sometimes when something good happens you are overcome by feelings of happiness!! I continued to explain we are family and we are expressing our joy and happiness together!! This reminded me of a moment when we were at church and he asked the same question, trying to find understanding and meaning as to why Mommy was crying. Again, a teaching moment about being happy! I am not naive to think that society teaches our boys something else. So I have to put on my Mothering shield and give him words to help his understanding.
Our society frowns upon men who show emotion as well as women who show emotion. It's perhaps more acceptable for women to cry, but men not so much. We (Me, Dad, Uncles, Grandparents, Aunts, Cousins, Village) are teaching our sons to stand up for themselves, be who they are and not let people take advantage of them, to love, to cry, to be angry or sad, to be happy in this world but understand to never let their emotions get the best of who they are! I don't want society to get the upper hand in raising them them or controlling who they become!!
I am unsure of what my son took from that moment, but I want him to understand what emotions are and how to deal with them, and to simply be who he is regardless, yet also prepare him for a world outside of his family that may judge him.
At the end of the day I want my sons to be strong enough to handle society, be strong enough to handle and control their emotions, be humble and Be the Best Men they can be!
My 8 year old came up to me and asked 'Mommy I'm sad because people are crying'. Immediately, a teaching moment for my son to understand how to deal with emotions. I had to be very careful with how I responded because I am not a man and don't know how to deal with emotions as a man. I told him they are tears of joy and sometimes when something good happens you are overcome by feelings of happiness!! I continued to explain we are family and we are expressing our joy and happiness together!! This reminded me of a moment when we were at church and he asked the same question, trying to find understanding and meaning as to why Mommy was crying. Again, a teaching moment about being happy! I am not naive to think that society teaches our boys something else. So I have to put on my Mothering shield and give him words to help his understanding.
Our society frowns upon men who show emotion as well as women who show emotion. It's perhaps more acceptable for women to cry, but men not so much. We (Me, Dad, Uncles, Grandparents, Aunts, Cousins, Village) are teaching our sons to stand up for themselves, be who they are and not let people take advantage of them, to love, to cry, to be angry or sad, to be happy in this world but understand to never let their emotions get the best of who they are! I don't want society to get the upper hand in raising them them or controlling who they become!!
I am unsure of what my son took from that moment, but I want him to understand what emotions are and how to deal with them, and to simply be who he is regardless, yet also prepare him for a world outside of his family that may judge him.
At the end of the day I want my sons to be strong enough to handle society, be strong enough to handle and control their emotions, be humble and Be the Best Men they can be!
